Relations When we were single we talked about them, we fantasized about them and we couldn’t wait to be in one. But … did you enter the relationship for the right reasons? Did you get into the relationship because you were really ready for one or were you just bored? You were alone? Or were you just in love with the idea of being in a relationship? Sometimes we can feel like we want a relationship when we see our girlfriends marry and we feel left out. Society has somehow made 30 the magic age for a woman to get married. Do you remember the fairy tales? At 30, you should be married with your 2 kids, a dog, and your house with the white fence. So if you turn 30 or are over 30 and you’re still single, what happens to you? That is what society makes you question. There must be something wrong with you because you haven’t calmed down yet, so you start to question your worth. I say you mess with that! You are not defined, your value is not defined by the state of your relationship. I see people in relationships who don’t need to be in them. They are just roommates. They are just doing the moves. It is a one-sided relationship. I know the importance of being equally yoked with someone who has been committed before. That is why I refuse to conform. If you are in a relationship, you should be happy. You two must bring out the best in each other. You both must love each other and genuinely love each other. No relationship is perfect, of course. You will have ups and downs but, in general, it is love. There’s love. And people can feel that when they are around you. Of course, we know that some people play it; they put on a show in front of people and behind closed doors they despise each other. But why? Why are you in a loveless relationship? Why are you in a situation where you are clearly unhappy and / or question the other person’s love for you? Where is your self love? I write for women, but the principles almost always apply to men as well. Therefore, there will never be any intentional male attacks, just my point of view. I believe in love. I believe that we are all worthy and deserving of love. We all want to love and be loved. However, a relationship must give don’t take away from us. It must be worth joining. Here are some signs that you may need to consider whether or not you are in a healthy relationship:

Disease. If you are constantly stressed and sick, this could be a sign that you are not in the right relationship. Les Brown, a world-renowned motivational speaker, spoke about something called relational illness in the movie ‘Beyond The Secret’. There are some people who can make you sick. It may sound crazy, but think about it. If you are a vibrant and optimistic person, for example, and are in a relationship with a pessimistic curmudgeon, there is a high probability that you will become like them. You will go from being a high energy person to being a low energy pessimist. Why? Because we are who we hang out with. We feed on the energy of others. So if you’re not in the right relationship, your health could suffer. All the emotional and mental stress can take its toll.

Objectives / Vision. Are they both aligned with each other’s visions of life? Do you want to live the same lifestyle? Are you both growing or is one person comfortable and not open to change? It is important that you have a relationship with someone who is on the same wavelength as you. A person who is a fitness guru, for example, and a person who is addicted to television may find it difficult to be together. We have to be honest with ourselves. Sharing the same values ​​is essential. You must be aligned with what is most important in the lives of others. It’s like the non-negotiable list (which should be value-based, not superficial): there are certain things that are non-negotiable for you to consider being in a relationship. If you haven’t made a list like that, essentially your deciding factors, I suggest you do. I’d say make a top 5 but the top 10 more; Values ​​that absolutely need in a relationship. Otherwise, it probably won’t work. (Needs, not desires. Ex: 6’4 for men and 5’6 for women – that is wanting. Being faithful and feeling loved is a necessity).

Happiness. You feel happy? Are you happy to come home? Do you really like the person you are with? Or did you just pick the first person to show you some attention? Are you spending time with them because at least you have someone? Be honest with yourself. We all deserve true love. I believe that we can have the love that we want if we do not conform so much. We have to look within ourselves and do some self-reflection. That will help us uncover some hidden beliefs we may have about love and what we believe we are worthy and deserve. Also, potential self-esteem issues that we may need to work on. Love is easy I even heard Steve Harvey say that once. Love itself is easy. In the right relationship, you feel happy. You feel the love You don’t have to question it. It flows natural. It feels good. It feels good. It is NOT one-sided. You don’t feel like you’re settling. And surely you wouldn’t be thinking of someone else if you were really happy and in love.

Love yourself enough to walk away if it doesn’t make you grow or make you happy anymore. If it doesn’t honor you, why do you choose to stay? It works on you. Increase your self-love. Take some time to rediscover who you are and what you want out of life. You deserve love and you are worthy of love, but it must be correct and healthy. So don’t settle for less.