In Part 1 we explored the fact that people with autism are no different from anyone else, they also enjoy sexual experiences. This article will take a closer look at what may be a part of autistic people’s introduction to puberty.
Author Geri Newton, in her article, Social/Sexual Awareness, states that, “Many of my clients have told me that having sex with someone is the only time they feel normal…when they have sex with someone, they are like everyone else – grown up”. She says that she has heard this same message from people with identified IQs of 30 to 70, verbal and non-verbal. This is something that we as a society should take some time to explore further. Why? In my opinion, it is sad to realize that so many of our “brothers and sisters” can only feel normal when they are involved in a sexual encounter. And how much time do they spend on these sexual experiences? Most likely it won’t be too long. This means that during the other hours of the week these people probably feel different, even out of place.
If you are the parent of a son or daughter approaching puberty, chances are you have some concerns, maybe even some fears, about how to deal with this new chapter in your autistic child’s life. During this time, you will first need to prepare your child for puberty and the body changes. For girls, parents should be prepared to help their children through this exciting time. This allows parents the opportunity to regularly review areas such as social expectations. This includes manners, positive sexual behavior, accepted social rules along with boundaries. These discussions should take place both at home and in public. This is the perfect time, when in a restaurant, for example, to talk about manners and behavior.
Parents of an autistic girl entering puberty may find it easier to use skill-appropriate books with pictures to explain and show as they go. She needs to understand the various parts of her body and the function of each. Most likely, she will be delighted to learn that she will soon develop breasts. However, she may not feel the same excitement about menstruation and the procedures to follow when she starts her period. If her daughter carries a small bag, she should make sure to pack some sanitary pads and a clean pair of underwear. Remind her frequently of the changes she will soon face.
Hopefully you have been working together as a team, your teacher, your daughter, and yourself. It is imperative that the team frequently review what is happening once your period begins and follow each step of pad use. You should also understand that your sanitary pad needs to be changed regularly and that you may need to clean yourself as well. Following each of these steps will prepare her for the “event.” It should also teach you how to properly dispose of your used sanitary pad. If a girl is unprepared, it can be frightening for her to sit in a classroom and suddenly feel something run up her leg. Then when she realizes it’s blood, this can make for a very traumatic experience. As she explains the whole process, she should have a couple of sanitary pads (the kind she will use so she is familiar with them) to show her the correct way to apply it. If she has a large doll or some other object, show her the steps to apply the pad. Then have him practice doing the same thing. She should review this procedure until she is comfortable and she can properly apply the pad.
In Part 3 we will talk about sexuality: your child and puberty.