Most couples will admit that it takes work to maintain a healthy relationship. During those exciting early stages of dating, everyone is sporting their best party manners. It can be hard to find fault with each other. Those minor character flaws can come off as endearing or quirky at first. Six months later, they’re called perpetually annoying or unbearably irritating habits.

When two people try to build on that initial happiness, problems can and do arise. Compromise becomes a necessity, and the glaring reality of imperfection shines like a spotlight. Relationship experts say that people are rarely emotionally stuck, even when they’re one half of the ideal couple. Combine the challenges of routine life with some inevitable surprises and the most stable couples can sometimes find that they need help.

Where do you most often go for relationship advice? After confiding in a trusted friend, but before seeking full professional advice, many will head straight for the self-help aisle of the bookstore. It’s an incredibly successful multi-billion dollar industry geared specifically toward doling out advice to the in love, loveless, or heartbroken.

The business now targets relationship seekers, recovering divorcees, and every other aspect of the mating dance imaginable. There’s a DIY book for all things relationship related. Add in seminars, retreats, radio and TV shows, websites, and audiobooks, and you have a full-blown empire.

Naming the most effective relationship experts would be difficult and subjective; but over the years a “Who’s Who” list has sprung up. Each one has a unique style and a different claim to fame. His devoted audiences are as varied as his credentials and techniques. From the conventional to the unusual, here is a list of the world’s most recognized names in the relationship counseling industry:

or Dr. Ruth Westheimer

The diminutive 80-year-old psychosexual therapist, known simply as “Dr. Ruth,” was one of the first people to bring frank discussions of human sexuality up front and into the living room. His radio show, Talking Sex, which began as an “after-hours” call-in show, first aired in 1980. Since then, the icon has written numerous books, hosted his own television show , has released a number of games and videos, and still operates his very popular website.

Dr Philip McGraw

“Dr. Phil” is sure to go down in history as a no-nonsense relationship expert and the epitome of personal branding in his prime. McGraw emerged on the national scene by making frequent guest appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, where he was an instant hit with the audience. His no-nonsense approach to couples counseling, his colorful euphemisms and his “average guy” appeal have earned the bestselling author a household name and the status of king of daytime television.

or Dr John Gray

First he taught us that Venus and Mars were much more than planets and the mythological figures we thought they were. Her relationship philosophy and his advice revolve around one basic premise: that men and women are inherently different, and the key to solving relationship problems lies in understanding and respecting those differences. According to his website, more than 40 million copies of his Venus-Mars book series, printed in 45 languages, have been sold worldwide.

or John Welwood, Ph.D.

Welwood’s signature style for unraveling the mysteries of intimate relationships integrates traditional Western psychology with Eastern spiritual wisdom. He spent his early years as a philosophy student, including two years at the Sorbonne in Paris studying existentialist thought. In addition to being a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, Welwood is the award-winning author of a series of relationship books. Journey of the Heart, Ordinary Magic, and Perfect Love, Imperfect Relations: Healing the Wound of the Heart are among the most famous.

or David Deida

There’s no doubt that this New Age relationship guru has his share of controversy. His best-selling book bears a title that practically leaps off the shelf: The Way of the Superior Man. One reviewer raved about it, calling it “an astonishingly practical guide to living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom.” Another summed it up as “misogynistic bullshit.” But Deida’s biggest critics point to his lack of credentials and insist that he has no formal degrees from an accredited institution. However, the fans remain loyal. Deida’s spiritually based relationship seminars for men, women and couples continue to sell out.

Dr John Gottman

Dr. Gottman is one of the most academically credentialed therapists on the list. As co-founder of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, he and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, seek to help couples and make the institute a training ground for mental health professionals. His lab at the University of Washington was dubbed the “Love Lab” by the media due to his research on couple interactions. His scientific approach to predicting marital success is remarkable: Gottman is able to predict with over 90% accuracy which couples will and will not make it.

or Dr. Laura Schlessinger

“Dr. Laura” is a favorite of the most controversial psychotherapists to ever hang a shingle. Some say she epitomizes anti-feminism, but after 30 years as a radio talk show host, she remains immensely popular. The listeners she calls out are familiar with her confrontational style of giving advice and her books are just as straightforward. Eleven of them have regularly made the NY Time bestseller list. The first, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Ruin Their Lives, debuted in 1994. The Brooklyn native earned her Post-Doctoral Certification in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling at the University of Southern California.

Dr Gary Smalley

He is the founder of Today’s Family and the Smalley Relationship Center, a multi-purpose marriage and family counseling center with a 14-point mission statement based on Christian doctrine. Over the past 35 years, Smalley has written books, conducted hundreds of marriage seminars, and reached conference audiences that now number in the millions. His famous award-winning infomercial, “Hidden Keys to Relationships,” has been featured by celebrities including Dick Clark and Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford.

or Dr. Neil Clark Warren

Many know Dr. Warren as the founder and spokesperson for eHarmony, but before launching the dating website in 2000, he spent 35 years practicing clinical psychology. After counseling thousands of married couples, he believed there was a better way to find a life partner without leaving it up to fate. Years of research in collaboration with Dr. Galen Buckwalter led to the widely publicized Compatibility Matching System. According to a 2007 Harris Interactive Study, 236 eHarmony members get married every day in the United States after being matched on eHarmony.

Dr Gary Chapman

This marriage counselor, Baptist minister, and radio host has written more than 20 books since 1979. Of these, The Five Love Languages ​​is the most famous. He argues that as both givers and receivers of love, each of us expresses emotion in a different way. Chapman identifies those five “languages” as quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical contact. Therefore, understanding the love language of a couple will lead to effective communication. It is also the basis for his radio show, “A Love Language Minute,” which is broadcast on more than 100 stations in the United States.