“Graceful Divorce Solutions” by Marcy Jones delivers on its subtitle promise to save you “Time, Money and Sanity.” As an attorney, Jones realized the need for people to understand their options when divorcing and for attorneys to understand the emotional components of a divorce. Jones decided to practice family law so that he could find ways to fix a broken legal system that was neither created nor conducive to dealing with family problems.

Jones explains in depth why the legal system should not be involved in most divorce cases, including that the law was designed for criminal matters and to resolve disputes between people who had done business together but later would not have long-term relationships. term. In contrast, when two spouses with children divorce, they remain a family and need to communicate with each other on a regular basis. The legal system’s way of pitting a husband and wife against each other is not conducive to continued communication between the couple after divorce and, especially, is not beneficial to the well-being of the children.

Jones became a family law practitioner in hopes of finding a better way for families to get through divorce. After her own divorce, Jones returned to school to become a lawyer. While he initially didn’t know what legal difference it could make, he realized that his goals should be twofold, namely:

• First, change the way lawyers think about and handle divorces.

• second, obtain honest and trustworthy information for clients about their options so that they can actively participate in their own divorce process.

When Jones found out about the collaborative divorce, he thought he had found the answer. This process allows a couple to get divorced without going to court while their attorneys work with them, rather than against each other, to reach an agreement that both parties find acceptable. When Jones discussed this new process with his legal co-workers, however, he encountered resistance from them:

When I went to the senior partner at the firm where I was at the time to ask if he could attend a two-day basic training in collaborative practice, he looked at the information and replied, “This is not practicing law.” In his opinion, if you weren’t preparing to go to court, you weren’t practicing law. If you weren’t preparing for court, then you must be afraid to go to court and fight the fight, which is, after all, what lawyers are trained to do.

Precisely because lawyers are taught to fight in court, a procedure that can result in spouses turning against each other and children getting caught in the middle, Jones was determined to pursue a different approach. Despite opposition from her colleagues, she has continued to successfully practice collaborative divorce with her clients. Jones feels that the deciding factor that makes the collaborative divorce process more effective is that “the couple agreed from the beginning not to go to court. When the threat of ‘going to court’ is removed from the picture, it changes the whole dynamic”.

Jones realizes that not all marriages can end peacefully with a collaborative divorce, although many can do so with the cooperation of both spouses. Jones therefore discusses the different divorce processes available (litigation, attorney / attorney negotiation, mediation, Do-it-yourself, and collaborative divorce) so that his readers can make an informed decision on the option that is right for them. It also goes into detail about the different aspects of divorce, clarifying that a couple really must go through four divorces: legal, financial, social, and emotional.

The difference from collaborative divorce, or any other non-litigation process, is that the matter can be resolved peacefully outside of court and the couple can pursue their own agenda rather than that of family members, attorneys, or an attorney. judicial file.

With the collaborative process, a collaborative divorce team can be formed to consist of two attorneys, one or two divorce counselors, a child specialist, and a financial specialist, and still be more cost effective than conventional divorce methods. Such divorces can often be resolved in half a dozen or fewer meetings by the collaborative divorce team, and Jones has personally seen both spouses walk away happy and thanks both attorneys for their ability to compromise and focus on what will be best for everyone. the family members involved. .

Admittedly, lawyers get a bad rap, but Marcy Jones has written a book that redeems many of them by showing that lawyers can care about people rather than just fighting each other and billing their clients for their time. At the end of “Graceful Divorce Solutions,” Jones shows that his first thought is for the customer, even at the risk of losing the book sale, because he asks readers to pass the book on to other people so that they too can learn and benefit from the colaboration. divorced.

She hopes that she has done her little part to bring about resolution rather than conflict when a marriage must end and, by extension, to help people find peaceful and even satisfying solutions to their problems, not just when they get divorced but anywhere. of the conflicts of life. Marcy Jones and the collaborative divorce process serve as models for what life can be like when we seek resolution rather than conflict.