In January 2003, a waitress in Germany named Dagmar Polzin saw a photo of a convicted murderer while waiting at a bus stop in Hamburg. The photo was of Bobby Lee Harris, posted by an anti-death penalty group. Bobby Lee of North Carolina was on death row for stabbing his boss to death during a robbery. Polzin was deeply influenced by Bobby Lee’s photo and she fell in love at that moment.
She later said, “It was something in his eyes; there was remorse, sadness. I was drawn to him, and I knew he was the one.” In less than a year, Polzin and Harris were engaged, and she moved to North Carolina to live with her family. For many who read these words this story is amazing; but if you saw the photo she fell in love with Polzin it would be hard to understand. Harris can be very charming with the qualities of a good husband; but he is not a protagonist. Right now there are over 100 British and German women engaged to or married to men on death row in the United States. The desire to love of men convicted of murder is not just limited to European women
The prison romance between Polzin is not an isolated incident. no matter how extreme or heinous the crime for which the individual is convicted, there is always a woman willing to support her man. Wedding vows “till death do us part” take on a new and unique meaning when your spouse has an appointment with the hangman. Yes, it is very difficult for the average person to understand why so many intelligent, well-educated women are attracted to convicted or murdered men who are sentenced to death or spend the rest of their lives behind bars.
For example, Scott Peterson was recently convicted and sentenced to death for murdering his pregnant wife Laci. San Quentin prison officials reported that a few hours after Peterson arrived on death row, he received a proposal from a woman who wanted to be the next Mrs. Peterson. And according to the director, his office received more than three dozen phone calls on Peterson’s first day in San Quentin from women asking for his mailing address.
Several studies have shown that there is no shortage of women who dream of finding a husband on death row and the deadliest criminals get the most proposals. Take Richard Ramirez, the night shooter, he murdered at least 14 people, robbed, raped and beat many more than that. During his trial, he declared “say hello to Satan” and was considered the embodiment of pure evil. Still, dozens of women flocked to his side after he was arrested. And long lines formed outside the prison; letters arrived by the full box. After courting several women behind bars, he married Doreen Lioy, 40, an independent magazine editor, in 1996.
John Wayne Gacy, for example, this guy, a convicted murderer, rapist who murdered thirty-three young men; he even received many love letters from women. And I understand that there is a book published with a collection of letters that women sent him; they basically jump at him looking for a relationship with him. John Wayne had a relationship with a woman who was delusional and in denial that she didn’t believe he committed the murders he was convicted of even though he was on death row about to be executed.
Carol Ann Boone moved from Washington state to Florida to be close to Ted Bundy, who was convicted of killing more than thirty women across the country. Boone and Bundy married in 1980 and had a son. However, when she became convinced that Bundy was guilty of his crimes, she moved in with her son.
These are just a few cases where women go so far as to love men, convicted of murder, on death row. Experts in the field say that many of these women do not believe that these serial killers are capable of committing the crimes for which they are convicted. Expert like Shelia Isenberg says that these women deny it.
Shelia Isenberg, author of, Women who love men who kill, did an in-depth psychological analysis of women who are attracted to men who have committed violent acts. During her investigation, Isenberg interviewed many of the women themselves, as well as psychologists, social workers, and prison authorities.
It is clear from Isenberg’s research that these women are not all social outcasts, uneducated ghetto residents or trailer homeless. These women are teachers, nurses, social workers, waitresses, office workers, and housewives. Isenberg stated that many of the women have been victims of abuse and violence. And there are those who know exactly what kind of relationship they are getting into; but his denial and overwhelming desire for a safe, idealized, romantic fantasy of love overshadows her better judgment.
Isenberg went on to say that; “This phenomenon involves a complicated series of reasons. The first reason is that if you are in a relationship with a man behind bars for life or a man on death row, then you have a lot of control over the relationship. You can decide when to visit, when to accept the phone call, or if you will accept the call, and you are that man’s primary link to the outside world. So as you can clearly see, it’s a very powerful position to be in.”
In addition to power and control, women relative to men behind bars receive almost complete attention from the inmate; with little to no distractions or serious competition. Men in prison have hours of free time to study the women they are involved with. These men study women’s vulnerability and personality traits and use this knowledge to manipulate women to suit their immediate needs and desires. After all, serial killers and murderers were predators in the real world. Why would anyone think that I would change in prison?
Isenberg points out that; “When you have a man with notoriety, like a serial killer, like Ted Bundy, or Richard Ramirez, or the Melendez brothers, or somebody like Scott Peterson, there’s a different element. Then women are also drawn to the notoriety and the fame, and these are your 15 minutes of fame.”
Final thoughts; the psycho
There are many theories and speculation as to why certain women gravitate towards men convicted of murder. Some experts say that these women are mentally retarded. Why would a rational woman find something attractive in someone who wants to rape and murder you?
A more pathological scenario is that women who love men who kill are women who have a history of abuse and involvement in such relationships; it is his way of undoing and rewriting the past. This time, however, she is in control of her and he is behind bars with no means to hurt her. The truth, however, is that the psychological motivations of these women are as varied as the women themselves.
The psychological makeup and personality traits of serial killers and murderers, on the other hand, are no mystery; They are seasoned psychopaths. The psychopath is forever, and they live in a world of their own.
Even Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, had little to say about the psychopath. He pointed to the psycho as an exception to the average criminal. Freud said: “Among adult delinquents we must certainly accept those who commit crimes without any sense of guilt, who have not developed moral inhibitions, or who, in their conflict with society, consider themselves justified in their actions as psychopathic.”
The psychodynamics of the psychopath is defined in this way; lack of remorse or shame, lack of judgment and lack of learning from experience, self-centeredness and inability to love, poor affective reaction and loss of introspection
Women looking for serial killers, murderers, rapists, and societal rejects must first consider the personality of the psychopath. The psychopath is a rebel; his rebellion is designed to achieve satisfactory goals for himself alone; he is incapable of vigorous effort, of any kind, for the good of others. All of his efforts, no matter what form he takes, represent investments aimed at satisfying his immediate desires and longings.
Women seeking an intimate relationship and marriage with a psychopath behind prison walls should be aware that when he says “I do” he means I’m doing it myself; everything I do is to satisfy my immediate needs and desires.
Women should never forget; there are no princes between serial killers and murderers… only frogs.
http://www.sheilaisenberg.com