A perfect relationship does not exist anywhere under heaven. It is the collective efforts of the individual that make relationships work. If you’re still looking for Mr. Perfect, I’m sorry because I don’t know how long it will take to get him. In fact, those men are long dead. The effort you put in, the good input on your part, and the willingness to see that there is a difference in your relationship is what counts. If you give nothing, you have nothing to receive. Before you start looking for a good man, be a good woman. However, that is not today’s debate. I want to share with you what God has shared with me that I believe will make a difference in your relationship.
This is a continuation of the response I received on the article “How an enviable relationship is composed”. Don’t just read this article if you’re not going to use it. This is a truth that you will not hear anywhere. The Bible says, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” So it is the application of truth that liberates, not just knowledge. So sit down and let’s learn together, step by step, the ABC’s of a healthy relationship.
A- Acceptance.
Loving relationships demand that we accept each other as we are. Our strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings, flaws, the beauty we have, the ugliness we hide, no matter how rough, neat, good, bad, or worst. They must be accepted. Accepting your partner as he is makes relationships more pleasant. It is the key that unlocks rest and absolute peace. There is no perfect man. We all achieve perfection by working on our imperfections. The man you are looking at thinking that he will be the best guy also has his own flaws and ugly nature about him. If he leaves Harry and marries Henry, he will soon discover how much better Harry would have been. The key or the rule is to accept your own treasure in the package that is presented to you. Appreciate what you have.
B – Be open to change and pursue it.
Most of us want to improve and develop our lives, relationships, business, and family life, but we don’t always want to pay the price for it. And there is no way we can get the best out of life if we continue to resist change. A change can be all the necessary requirements to solve the problems in our homes. Dr John c. Maxwell says: Don’t change enough to get away from your problems, change enough to solve them. If you are serious about changing your life and your relationship, then go for it. And if you avoid paying the immediate price of changing your relationship, you will pay the ultimate price of never improving your relationship. Pastor Bob says: See change not as a harmful thing to do, but as a useful thing to do.” So be open to change in your relationship and be ready to chase it.
C – Satisfaction
The cravings of men are never satisfied. Satisfaction is achieved when we are happy with what we have. Don’t get caught up in the spirit of discontent. Make a choice and be satisfied with what you choose. Whether you are a black or white woman, happiness in life is what matters. Happiness is not getting what you want, but enjoying what God has given you. You achieve satisfaction when you are satisfied with what you have. The scripture says, “Not that I complain of need; for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am in.” Philippians 4:11. Be happy with your own spouse. Whatever you have is the best you can have, celebrate it.
D – Do not get hooked on your adolescent attitude.
In the Bible Paul writes: “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child, when I became a man, I left the ways of a child.” 1 Corinthians 13:11. Being childish in the relationship is a sign of immaturity. Marriage takes certain attitudes from us whether we like it or not. Even if you are still single, the time of singleness will be gone and the childish character must be put aside. Growth is in stages and the relationship is like a garden where growth is necessary. At whatever level you are now, you are neither too small nor too big to lead others if childish ways of approaching problems are put aside. James Carse says: One does not bring changes to a garden, but one comes to a garden prepared for change, and therefore prepared to change. It’s childish to think that your relationship will offer him everything he wants without his own contribution. Ready for a change in your friendship relationship, drop these childish habits and get ready for the change.
E – Exercise self-control.
There are two kinds of people: the self-controlled and the controlling. You are one of them. The controller believes that it is the people who do them the worst. Therefore, they respond by blaming and passing the aggression onto others. But the self-controlled believes that people do nothing to them without their cooperation. Therefore, they try to deal with themselves and get their feelings, anger, resentment and any guilt under control. When you are able to control yourself, you will save the day. Self-control is the ability of a man to put him under subjection and control, whether he is angry or excited. It is the level of a man’s ability to control his temper and his feelings, and subdue whatever moves him. The scripture, Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is the man who lacks self-control.” our environment, the circumstances and the people around us, some bad incidents, pressures, friends, anger and many more.
Don’t let a moment of anger destroy a relationship for life. Many problems that lead to divorce stem from things like these. Bad temper is not what we should be proud of, but what we should try to change. It will implant our fear in those who could have helped us and they will try to avoid us. People always try to avoid those who are easily angered to save themselves from trouble.
F – Find a way to say thank you.
Nothing can be as good in life and in relationships as remembering those who have touched our lives in a unique way. One way to relate well in our friendship relationship is to find a way to remember the people who have made a difference in our lives. Who dries our tears when nobody realizes that we are crying? No matter what you have received from other people, wife or husband, parent or friends, in the form of love, money, encouragement, advice or counsel, find a way to say thank you. The little you’ve received, how much you’ve enjoyed, and the more you’ve been given should come back to you in a “thank you” package. Author Barbara Glanz tells of a successful businessman who remembered her 8th grade literature teacher. He wrote to her, and she replied this way: You will never know how much your letter meant. I am now 83 years old and live alone. My friends and family are gone. I taught school for fifty years and yours is the first thank you I have ever received from a student. Sometimes I wonder what I did with my life. I will read and reread your letter until the day I die.” However, this was a woman that all the students talked about the most in class meetings, but no one ever told them. What have you told those who marked a difference in your life?Today, find a way to say thank you.