you look at her She looks back and smiles. Your heart starts pounding and you want to get closer to her…but maybe after a drink or two. You take a sip of beer and decide to walk around the room first, just to see if she’s still interested. This continues for a few minutes. After a long time of staring uncomfortably and goofing off, the woman finally realizes that you are incredibly anxious or uninterested in her. After you worked up enough courage to approach her, she decided to write you off and go with her friend. What a disappointing night!
We all know that approaching a woman can be an anxiety-filled experience, although most men would never admit it. Dilated pupils, shallow breathing, and a racing heart are symptoms that men feel just before approaching an attractive girl. These are all common features and can even be beneficial to get that extra adrenaline rush just before starting a conversation. However, most men let anxiety build up to a paralyzing amount by refusing to get close and over-analyzing things. To combat this sense of hesitation, the three-second rule was born.
The three second rule is a well known technique used to overcome the fear of approaching women. In this rule, you are supposed to approach a woman you are attracted to within three seconds from the moment you see her. This approach is meant to cure men’s indecisiveness and paralyzing over-analysis of the situation. It forces men to break free of their comfort zones and just do it.
The three second rule can be used as a teaching aid for the perfectionist, or someone who wants to get the conditions right before approaching a girl. Almost always, the perfectionist never gets the conditions he wants and ends up not coming close at all. The three-second rule snaps you out of obsessive thinking about him and forces you to act. With the help of a mentor and the right cues from the woman, the three-second rule can be very powerful. However, as good as the rule is intended to be, it does have some major drawbacks.
In the first place, the rule does not allow time for a man to collect himself. He may feel an extreme sense of fear when he is forced to approach a woman he is not ready to meet. This can end with him ruining the interaction by saying the wrong things at the time. Although the rule helps those who keep planning things too much, it doesn’t help much for those who need more time to calm down.
Second, the rule creates a sense of urgency. The man following him may end up feeling rushed, creating the feeling of being forced to interact against his will. This negative vibe can continue and ruin the interaction.
Finally, there are only a few cases where you cannot approach the woman within three seconds of seeing her. When she’s busy paying at the grocery store counter, for example, you might have to wait a while before you get a chance, even if you’ve already locked eyes with each other.
Despite this, the three second rule is very effective when it comes to conquering your fear of approach. If you’re extremely worried about the outcome of your approach, the three-second rule will almost certainly snap you out of that negative mindset by forcing you to have as many interactions as possible. Eventually this will force him to experience rejections and lead him to the conclusion that they are not as bad as he thought they were. The three-second rule is also commonly used with a friend to make a game of who has the most approaches (and receives the most rejections) in the least amount of time. If he does it to the best of his ability, the three-second rule will eliminate the fear of approach literally overnight.
Although not perfect, diving in as soon as possible when you see a beautiful woman can be extremely helpful in upping your game. Do it as often as possible. 1, 2, 3… GO!
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