When negotiating, or for that matter, in any conversation, many times, the things that are said are very different from their meaning. Specifically in a business conversation, one must look for hidden meanings in what other people are saying. Very often, what is left out of a speech or conversation is as significant as what is said. Furthermore, one must also be adept at not revealing one’s own hidden meanings.

The following list highlights expressions and words that indicate hidden meanings in conversations. It is quite interesting!

– Expressions that mean the opposite: Sometimes people say things when they really mean the opposite.

This is very popular during sales (or shopping) conversations:

Some terms that are used frequently are: “It is not important, but I just want you to know that …” – Remember that if something is not important, it is not necessary to say that it is not important. For example, we never say “it’s not important, but the sky is blue,” we just say it. You can be sure that when adding a ‘bumper’ like that (not important, but), the following statement is very very important. In fact, that could be the primary concern of the person making the statement. If it’s a sales situation and a buyer is making a statement like this, 100% make sure this is their number one objection.

Sometimes people say “Don’t worry …”, what comes after this statement or what was said before, make sure you take it very seriously, and worry.

Other similar expressions that mean the opposite are “I just want to tell you.” You can be sure that there is a monumental demand or information on the way. Or “We can work out the details later” – it basically means that the person making this statement is unwilling to reveal their cards – LATER means there is much more negotiation left – not done!

– Disposables: these are expressions that at first glance indicate a casual reference, but in fact precede a BIG announcement. Commonly used disposable items are “By the way” or “I just remembered” or “As you know” or “By the way” or “Before I forget.”

Whenever you hear them, be prepared for a giant announcement or teaser.

– Legitimizers: Expressions that are used to legitimize a statement that is not entirely true.

These words or phrases are legitimizing: “Actually the truth is …” – Think about this statement for a moment. What does a person mean when he says that the truth is … Does he mean that everything he has been saying is false? Most likely yes. Rather, one of the two is definitive, that is, either what the person has been telling you so far is a complete lie or what will follow now will be one.

Other legitimators are “Frankly” or “Honestly speaking” or “to tell you the truth.” As long as you hear these words, you can be sure that what will follow will be anything but honest. For example, you are conducting a job interview and your candidate says, “I honestly haven’t thought about the salary.” I can guarantee that you have spent the whole night thinking only about the salary. o A buyer of your products or services says “Frankly speaking, you are twice as expensive as the current supplier.” As long as the word frankly is there, you can be sure it’s silly.

Be on the lookout for legitimators. It can be very powerful in a negotiation process. Also keep an eye out for prime-time news. You will be surprised how many politicians use legitimators in their interviews!

– Justifiers: Expressions that lay the foundations for failure. Justify is a state in which the other person gives up in the process. Something happened during their conversation and the person is now shutting down. If you go out now, at this stage, it’s over.

Justifiers are statements like: “I’ll do my best” or “I’ll see what I can do.” These statements are “final”. You have to deal with it right there. It may be a good idea to start over.

Justifiers are even more dangerous when the conversation turns to “us.” That’s the person who has been communicating with you up to now as “I’ll see” or “I’ll do” and suddenly it changes to “we’ll see what needs to be done” or “we’ll look into it.” sign of transferring the process and ending it.

– Drafts: Words that erase everything that was presented to them in a conversation.

The two main drafts are the words: “But” and “However.” Whenever these words are used, everything that has been said before them is no longer valid. Suppose you are in a sales conversation and the buyer says “I like your product and agree that it will be of immense value to our company, however …” – The ‘however’ moment is used all before It finishes. You need to start over.

– Deception: statements that immediately precede a draft that means the opposite of what is said. Sometimes drafts are also used as legitimizers, for example, “I am not a law student, but …” – It basically implies the opposite – that is, if this person is a lawyer or not, you can be very sure that he knows your stuff.

– Preparers: Clauses that prepare you for the request of the speakers. Statements like:

“I don’t want to be personal”

“I don’t want to intrude …”

“I need a great favor”

“This is very embarrassing …”

These statements are used primarily to obtain concessions from you. Sometimes a person says they need a big favor – this has basically woken up their mind to think what the person might need. What follows is a request for something small, but since you were preparing for a large request, it will likely give in.

Same with a statement like “I don’t want to be personal” and you’ll start to think what the hell is this person going to ask? Actually, it will be for a small favor that you might now be forced to provide, but may not have if you asked directly.

– Test balloons: phrases that indicate that the speaker has already made a decision and wants your opinion about it. Statements like:

“I have not thought much about it” means that you have thought and decided. He’s testing you.

“The main thought of my mind is …” – means that you do not want to reveal what you have thought and concluded. But it is over.

“Thinking aloud …” – Make sure it has been thoroughly analyzed and thought through.

If you come across these statements in a sales conversation, this is the perfect time to close. Basically, the buyer indicates their purchase preference.

It can be very interesting to listen to and study conversations. Beware of hidden meanings and “typical” statements mentioned above. It can be very revealing to lead a negotiation conversation. You can figure out what to work with and what to ignore. It takes a bit of practice but it’s a lot of fun.

For your success.

yours,

Chetan Walia