1. Bullies will take any contempt, real or imagined, and use it as a weapon against their victims. Another favorite trick is where a bully concocts a crime and accuses the victim of committing it.

2. Bullies are convincing liars and are adept at getting innocent people to do their dirty work. Often times, the innocent party does not see the manipulation.

3. Bullies will form alliances with anyone who helps them achieve their goals. Later, they can turn on their former ally in the blink of an eye.

4. When confronted, a bully may tell those in power that their experiences are false. Just as he cannot prove (in a one-on-one situation) that what the harasser says is false, neither can the harasser prove that what he has said is false. It is an indefensible position.

5. The purpose of the stalker is to cause psychological harm and mental suffering.

6. If you are dealing with a harasser in the workplace, know this: In more than 75% of situations, the target individual leaves. No matter how much you love or value your work, a bully is not worth fighting for. The psychological damage can be devastating over time.

7. It is important to know that a stalker is not a normal human being. They jump into the fray, and whatever you do to defend yourself is fuel for the bully. They love conflict and want it to continue.

8. In many posts, you will find that the bully suffers from one or more types of personality disorder.

9. The effects of bullying are much worse than most people think, especially in childhood.

10. The bully has a mindset that he must win at all costs. I ended up dealing with a thug in Mexico who stole my damage deposit. I defended myself.

At one point, the bully was chasing me with three lawyers. When it came time to agree to pay me back, he sent me a legal document, which was full of blackmail and extortion. I refused to sign it and this infuriated the bully.

Around the same time, I learned that the only way to win was to lose, which meant walking away and never coming back. I did that, and the bully yelled at me via email for months, before quitting. A year later, he came back and tried to lure me back into the fight. I ignored him and he finally gave up.

The bottom line is this: If you want to recover from the trauma of bullying, you MUST remove the bully from your life. If you don’t, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to recover.

When the bully is no longer in your life

For some people, removing the stalker from their lives is enough and they will begin to recover. Others have been traumatized by the ongoing bullying that has caused a psychological injury, sometimes known as PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder.

If this has happened to you, you know you are in trouble. Fortunately, there is help. I work with Hamish Bayston, a coach who specializes in working with bullying victims. With your training, you can remove bullying trauma from your life, change your limiting beliefs, stop obsessive thinking, and start living a normal life, free from bullying trauma.