Why are some couples happier than others? What is the “secret” to a great relationship? With certain couples, it’s clear that there’s something about the way they interact that makes it apparent that they have a unique and genuine connection.

Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you could look at these couples and chalk it all up to chemistry or fate. But it turns out that people in good relationships live by a few ground rules and make these rules a priority in their everyday lives together. Consider these habits that can help you create a strong and nurturing relationship.

Good relationships are based on realistic expectations
Good relationships require work and consideration every day.
Great relationships need communication skills
Good relationships turn negatives into positives.
Great relationships have balance.

Today’s Great Relationship Habit: Relationships are based on realistic expectations

Forget what you see in movies or on television. In other words, real relationships are nothing like what you see in movies filled with nonstop romance, candlelit dinners, and dizzying trips to exotic locales. Real relationships require effort, time, and commitment. Relationships don’t just happen because two people love each other very much, great relationships happen because two people not only love each other very much, but also value each other and are willing to put time into the relationship, day in and day out. .

Being in love isn’t like falling in love, says relationship expert Dr. Phil. “The myth that a lot of people believe is that the ecstatic emotion you feel when you first fall in love with someone new is real love. But it’s only the first stage of love and it’s humanly impossible to stay in that stage.”

The key point here is that people in healthy, positive relationships have a fundamental understanding of the proper and appropriate expectations for a stable, long-lasting relationship. They understand that not every day will be filled with passion and romance. In the same way, they understand that difficult moments in a relationship can only be temporary if there is good communication to overcome these moments.

A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited about very high ‘highs’ or worrying too much about very low ‘lows’. Both are momentary at best and will not define the true nature and extent of the relationship for a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you’ll be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality, sustainable relationship for many years to come.