It’s that manic time of year again, you know, that month that suddenly makes your credit card sag from the speed at which it went through half a dozen ATMs … And somehow, you’re left with gifts. that they are worldly, like vanilla, neither here nor there. We think it’s about time you considered spicing up your holiday decorations and wrappers and with Matilda’s Guide to Buying Lingerie for Your Lover 101 at hand, there’s no excuse!
Of course, the first thing to remember when shopping for lingerie for someone special is that it is not about you. Your credit card and your fantasies can play a big role in the purchase, but ultimately, it is your girl who will wear the sexy lingerie. Essentially she’s a girly girl who loves sugar and spices and all things pink, rubberized vinyl, and a matching ball gag can get you out on the sidewalk with a restraining order in your pocket.
Secret Agent Mission: Reach for the Underwear
We recommend that you take note of what she likes to wear, what items are her favorites or what lingerie ads she is interested in and what sexy lingerie appeals to her. Do you like body hugging corsets or ruffled wrists?
Cup size crisis? Just venture out to peek into the naughty underwear drawer while the lady is showering or check out the size tag while peeling off your layers! Although with the best intentions at heart, many men have touched a sensitive nerve with their beloved by presenting sassy lingerie that was either too small or too big. Check then double check the sizes and stay out of the dog crate!
Keep in mind that not all women are one hundred percent proportionate. Just because your girl is petite on top doesn’t mean things are going the same way for her butt! Some women, while modest in the bust department, can have considerable loot. Nothing kills romantic intentions more than hinting that your love’s butt is even bigger than you thought!
ASSTASTIC
Boy’s thongs, thongs, Brazilians, and boy shorts, enough to distract a man in the blink of an eye! But do you know the difference between a thong and a thong? Most importantly, what does your lover prefer? Just ask yourself this: how much of her butt can you normally see? Think a bit and you will surely find the answer! It is:
Answer 1: Everything, she is a fan of sexy thong (lucky man!)
Answer 2: None of that, she likes fuller panties, Brazilian shorts, ruffle knickers
Answer 3: The hobo monster is eating her panties; you have chosen a thong
BOOBALICIOUS
It’s time to find out if your girl likes padded, see-through, or bikini-style bras! Take some time to admire (while taking mental notes) her bra the next time you get comfortable. Yeah her bra guys, the bra! We’re not talking about gazing at the sheer wonder of her cleavage here! If your breasts seem a bit larger than you remember from the last time you had goosebumps, you are probably wearing a padded bra.
Now that you have the sizes and small details under control, it’s time to decide which style suits your partner. You didn’t think carving would be the end of everything, did you?
BUSTIERS OR BABYDOLLS? OPTIONS, OPTIONS, OPTIONS!
The hourglass
Features: We’re seeing abundant busts and a waist that curves to make way for the entry of the writable booty!
Famous Hourglass Ladies: Shania Twain, Salma Hayek, Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock and Legendary Marilyn Monroe
What to buy from her: Bustiers will look absolutely gorgeous. Shapely lingerie will accentuate curves in all the right places!
The bolus
Characteristics: We are looking at an average upper body with a showcase behind.
Famous Skittle Ladies: Jennifer Lopez, Shakira and Beyonce
What to buy: What you are looking for is a babydoll or camisole number. This will promote your cleavage and subtly send reminders of an irresistible butt!
Lollipop
Features: The cup overflows! Super busty with a slim waist and a medium butt.
Famous Lollipop Ladies: Uma Thurman, Susan Sarandon and Angelina Jolie
What to buy her: A bra set that will dress “the girls” and give her butt a means to join the party.
The spine
Characteristics: The general average! Pretty aligned bust, waist and butt! Also known as the most “athletic” figure type.
Famous Ladies of the Column: Cameron Diaz, Eva Longoria and Maria Sharapova
What to buy: A camisole set will draw your attention to her main assets by dividing your view of her body into luscious parts … the cutest tramp over there and … oh! Take a look at that cheeky bust over there …
The Apple
Features: All curves! The bust may be normal, but this is a curvy waist and a rubenesque butt!
Famous Apple Ladies: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore and Lorraine Kelly
What to buy: A lingerie dress will make your beloved feel confident and accentuate her curves while detracting from her curvy waist that she might not like!