1. Love yourself: join an exercise program
Well, we all know that it is important to exercise. But did you know that joining a program or gym can help you feel a true sense of community? By making this commitment over time, you will meet other people who feel the same about taking care of themselves. They see each other frequently. It is a bond that can rival what some find with other church members or volunteers for a cause. Those friends are there for you even when storms occur in other parts of your life: relationships, jobs, etc. If funding is low, check for city or Y programs in your area.
If you hate groups, find a training partner: Or if you have the cash, a personal trainer. It’s great to have company on those days when you’re too tired to exercise. And with the coach, as you are paying him, there is no commitment. You don’t have to feel bad if you absolutely CAN’T go. Just reprogram.
2. Treat yourself regularly, you deserve it Set aside time for your favorite pampering activities: pedicures, manicures, waxing, or whatever you have in your purse. Even if you are not used to doing this, giving yourself this time is a powerful way of affirming that you are special. If funds are low, take the time to do it yourself. Go into a room and ask someone to show you what to do. As a friend once said, a man who also had very good sensibilities, “Hey, if you don’t do it yourself, why would someone else do it?” Another great plan: plan a day in bed. No guilt, just enjoy!
3. Open your heart – give as generously as you can Because you are the only one providing them, both your time and money are valuable to you. But opening your heart does more than pleasant things for others – it opens the way for you to receive even more good. Pick a cause that interests you and put in some time / money. Take the time to choose and buy gifts that truly reflect the personality of your recipient. If you need ideas, spend some time Googling searching for “gift ideas” for the type of person you’re shopping for. Or meet someone who has that magical ability to put romance in every gift, and then ask them!
4. Fall in love! Adopt a fart Unless you are allergic to all living creatures in the world, taking care of a pet will get you back more than it will cost you. Visit animal rescues in your area. If you don’t have the time or energy to walk dogs and don’t like cats, consider a single, lower-maintenance pet: bird, snake, rabbit. Talk to the experts before choosing these types of animals; each requires a learning curve to have the most successful relationship. Look for the House Rabbit Society or similar groups. And make sure you have a backup that takes Mortimer with him when he’s out of town!
5. Don’t live in fear: take reasonable risks with money As your only support, you probably won’t have much backing if things go wrong. But if you make sure you understand what your options are, and realize that the worst possible outcome is probably not as bad as you think, you may be able to spend more than you think. On the other hand, don’t go beyond recovery. It is no fun living without any credit for 7 years, the typical consequences of bankruptcy.
6. Learn to enjoy eating out alone Yes, it may seem difficult at first if you haven’t tried hard. Try this: go to your local coffee shop or coffee shop. Order your favorite drink (coffee, latte, wine, whatever) and promise to sit there for at least 5 minutes before leaving. If even that is too much, at least plan to walk calmly down the street with your mug for a few minutes. Next time, order a muffin with your coffee. Practice! If you need a distraction, bring a book. Some experienced SWWANs bring a notebook to write or a sketchbook to draw; observe your surroundings. Clue: If you wouldn’t mind a chat, try sitting at the bar or one of the new “individual diner” areas featured in some better restaurants.
7. Ask for help! Successful single women know that it can be difficult to ask for help. We all want to be strong and independent and not needy. But hey, everyone needs help. Why should you, who are handling it all by yourself, have less help than other people? Practice small things first. You will get better with time. And you will find that most people are happy to help; they are just ashamed to ask because they don’t want you to think THEY I thought you were needy!
7.5 Dance! Dance: at home before going out, when you feel sad, instead of eating. Let the magic of music and movement transform your energy. Let yourself go, you will feel a huge difference.